Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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