thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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