Non-Jews are for practice
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize