and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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