Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
