I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize