PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
