I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
