Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
