Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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