you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
