brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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