I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
this just has baby written all over it
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
