First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
