she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
why do cheetos always look like penises
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
where are my eyebrows?
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