I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Me too!
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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