It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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