We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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