also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
