I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
