in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize