think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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