Buhtt sex?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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