All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize