Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
