so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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