you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize