Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
