the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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