I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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