If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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