Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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