don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
