what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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