Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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