he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
