So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize