? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
this hospital has no fireball
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
