Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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