God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
