Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
being pregnant is like rehab
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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