it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize