Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
