I wish I only lived at night.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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