throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
