I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Randomize
