Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Randomize
