I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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