the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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