I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Randomize
