sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize