he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
