we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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