maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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