How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
