I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize