C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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