i may or may not be watching the land before time
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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