Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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