Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
