He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
where are you?
Hypothermia
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
