if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
