Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
