the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
