what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
