Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
